White Victory Trophy

All six of these sentiments included:

1. Proudly presented to myself for being awesome.
2. Undisputed champion of everything.
3. You are the winner of my heart (and other organs).
4. Let it be known that I am best at life. Always.
5. For outstanding achievement in being better than everyone else.
6. For tireless contribution to the earth by existing.

Trophy size: 18" tall